The realization

So you're engaged... It's an amazing and somewhat overwhelming feeling right? For me the hardest part about the beginning stages of planning my wedding was coming to the realization that I couldn't have everything that I wanted. I don't mean financially. I am not one for frivolous spending. We work hard for our money and I would never want a huge elaborate event even if we had the extra money. I knew from the start I wanted what some would refer to as a: budget (hate that word), diy, country, rustic wedding. But for me I had always pictured myself getting married barefoot on the beach. And after our last vacation in Big Sur, I had the picture perfect place in mind! We had hiked up our pants, crossed through a river, and hiked a mile or so through some trees and a field of wild flowers to a secluded beach called Andrew Molera where I fell in love. However, my future mother in law is battling 4th stage breast cancer and I knew, along with my own mom, there was no one we wanted with us more on our special day than her. We also knew that there was no physical way possible to make it happen, and even if there was, I could never ask to put her through that. And so the reality of wedding planning sank in and I suddenly had no idea what I wanted... Well that's not entirely true. This realization brought to light that the most important thing to us was to have our loved ones with us on our special day. But no more Big Sur beach wedding so now what?